The Boss's Boss

After a hard day's work as I was begining to write myself off for the day my mobile beeped. It was a message from my friend, and Alas! what a message I must say, bang on time or hiting the bull's eye, sarcastically though. The crux was "Getting good appraisal is like getting pregnant because we goota get fu**ed a lot" Well Then I let my funny bone loose and imagined just how would be the situation incase you get to boss over your bosses. Sounds interesting and thought provoking right?

So first thing I would call him to my desk every now and then, through a waving gesture, such that just passing by me should make him feel threatened. How soothing thought it is, right?

Just when the time is right to leave from home, what could be better than an assignment that requires immediate action from him, and even better, inraction with US colleagues (as they will be working easy due to time difference). Also never forget to take an update first thing in the morning,no matter you are at home...just send a mail asking for details. So while you are driving smoothly to office he will be busy compiling the mail... the thought makes me feel so satisfied already.

Now we should flaunt some of our so called managerial tactics to this bugger. Call him for a short meeting praising for good work being done with sentence "a lot more needs to be done", and smiling cunningly asign two more tasks to him. And while he is working late, burning midnight oil, just leisurely walk to him with your coffee mug asking that he should do some sporting activities too..Ohh!! I can imagine the look on his face thinking " Gym at 11:00 or 12??"

Also dont forget to have weekly meetings no matter how much time crunch he has; advising him to attend training: never actually specifying what; asking him to have more exposure, so technically looking satisified with him but never really sounding so.

The icing on the cake is the appraisal meeting, make sure home work is done. Pointing out as many issues as possible, never actually letting him speak. Make him feel he has good potential and it is under utilized. Things which he performed were good but a person of his calibre deserves better. The mistake should be brought to the fore and deliberated upon for as long as possible andputting on a sympathy show. So while summing up the meeting assure him a personal attention, good opportunity, better position later and a 15percent hike, all this in a heart satisfying victorious tone.

Now back to reality, time to reach office and prepare an update of yesterday's meeting, AND make my resume visible in all job sites.

Comments

Unknown said…
Amazingggg!!! kya likha hai!! I totally enjoyed the thought of doing things u mentioned to a very khadoos boss! (waise mera boss toh bahut accha hai...wudnt want to try this on him :D )
October 14, 2008 at 10:16 AM
Anuj said…
lag raha hai tera manager tujhe kuch jyada hi jala raha hai...
i wnt to share this piece of writing with every just software engineer
January 5, 2009 at 9:22 AM
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